finally! warmer days in the city.

So far I love blogging and I’ve been at “peace” since toning down on my social media usage. Those who continue to share funny memes with me, thank you. Those who continue to write letters to me, thank you.

I’m a firm believer of writing and mailing letters. It deepens relationships (although, there were many short-term pen pals). Unlike text messages, writing letters requires conscious effort and reflective thinking (qualities that we truly lack of in modern societies). Also, as a person who works in the libraries, I cannot emphasize enough how important storytelling is through handwritten letters. I actually have a printed excerpt of Jimmy Carter’s correspondence displayed at my desk. Politics aside, he wrote these touching words to his beloved wife, Rosalynn Carter.

My darling, every time I have ever been away from you, I have been thrilled when I returned to discover just how wonderful you are. While I am away, I try to convince myself that you really are not, could not be as sweet and beautiful as I remember. But when I see you, I fall in love with you all over again. Does that seem strange to you? It doesn’t to me. Goodbye, darling. Until tomorrow. Jimmy.”

The letter from Jimmy Carter recited by Amy Carter during her mother Rosalynn Carter’s tribute service. November 28, 2023.

You could feel and hear his admiration for his wife through those words. (Take notes guys… men used to write letters to their loved ones during wars while their limbs were falling off!)

Anyways. I’ve been “living in the moment” by being more observant of my surroundings and by capturing photos for memory documentation than trying to share pretty pictures on Instagram. I find writing stories and sharing them on this blog liberating (which is ironic because blogs are more public-facing than a private Instagram account).

So April. What was the month like for me?

Well the weather has been warmer in the city, and I’m absolutely enjoying every minute of it (except for allergies). Thanks to this beautiful spring weather, I’ve been able to go on longer walks with my dog and during lunch breaks at work. We would occasionally get some “chilly” days but for the most part, it’s been warm in the 70s (Fahrenheit).

Actually, I’ve been a lot more active this season. Not only do I get at least 10,000 steps a day but I hit a milestone in rowing! I started rowing since January of this year and my goal was to reach 50,000 meters by the end of April. Well, after sweat and tears (not because of the strenuous workout but because of nasty body odor that I had to witness), I reached the milestone on April 29th.

I’m glad that I signed up for rowing class; I like how it pushed me to stay consistent and persistent with structure. Now that the weather is warmer, it’s time to get back on tennis.

My “resolution” for this year is to love myself. And by that I mean, love myself for who I was, who I am, and who I am becoming. Not based on what I see on social media. Not based on my body weight (sorry, scale you’re not invited). Not based on number of years. Not based on titles or positions. Simply yet complicatedly, who I am as a person (including my strengths and flaws).

I have always battled with body dysmorphia ever since I was 12 years old. Then in 2023, when I got IUD, I hated my body more than ever. It’s been ten months since I got “Miss Mirena” out of my system. The post-IUD body adjustment was a struggle, which is why I signed up for rowing so that I could feel better.

There are still days when I look in the mirror and am overly critical of my body. But, I’m much happier with the way I am and re-learning what self love means to me.

To achieve my goal this year, I’ve taken proactive steps such as limiting social media, avoiding toxic news (or should I say, click bait), working out, eating better foods, and living in the moment.

This whole self-love journey is a new season for me. It may feel new but I am still the same.

Cheers,