How are you feeling right now in the midst of a pandemic?

Honestly, I feel isolated, stuck, and bloated. Every day, I try to have a “normal” schedule by waking up at 9 AM and working remotely until 5 PM. But, no matter how we try to operate things from home, it doesn’t feel okay. It feels like I will get infected sooner than later. Who knows, I might be infected now but I’ll never know because we have no access to testing. So, I am paranoid.

What do you do to keep yourself sane?

I’ve been playing the violin. Music gives me peace although I’m never satisfied with my playing. I started Mendelssohn’s Violin Concerto in e minor and that is quite a challenging piece so the complexity of mastering a song and discipline that music requires keep me sane.

Before the COVID-19 affected the U.S, how did you first react to the disease?

I am a little guilty of this, but I first didn’t think it was going to hit the United States severely as it is now. I’d thought that even if the disease will spread, things will be under control and that people will take aggressive preventative measures that will help us go through it. I think it was around Chinese New Year when my mom called and said, “You need to stay home as much as possible.” Because I live under American privilege, I didn’t think it was too serious. I remember taking the MTA subway as usual, going to see the Met Opera performance, trying different coffee shops around the city — I did things that I would normally do. Then it was around late February when we had a meeting about the pandemic at my job. That’s when it hit me hard, and I realized that there was a big storm on its way. By early March, we were required to stay home and that’s when things got scary at the speed of light. At first, there were like couple hundreds of confirmed cases but we didn’t see number of deaths. Now, we have thousands of confirmed cases and the U.S. has exceeded number of deaths than any other country in the world. We were definitely underprepared, and I was one of them, too… unfortunately.

“Our worst enemy is not monstrous-looking machines or wars but tiny microorganisms that can wipe off the majority of the population.”

What concerns you the most from this experience?

There are a lot of things that I’m concerned about. I worry for those who are vulnerable, essential workers, prisoners, and everyone because we’re all affected by this tiny little thing called a virus. This reminds me of what my biology teacher told me back when I was in high school. Our worst enemy is not monstrous-looking machines or wars but tiny microorganisms that can wipe off the majority of the population.

But going back to what concerns me the most is the aftermath of the virus. Right now, we’re losing people, sensitivity, empathy, jobs, trust, and we’re dumping shit ton of non-biodegradable waste onto our planet. Even if there is a “cure” for this disease, it will take years to rebuild and regain. It’s quick to mess up but takes decades to restore and change. I hope we don’t make the same mistake again.

What are some things that you have realized from this experience?

Being a pessimist, I’ve realized that people are lazy to listen and take actions — even if the situation costs their lives and health. It’s not a group of people who are struggling, but almost everyone is struggling. Some are very privileged than others, and those who are privileged wiggle themselves out of the problem and sit back and watch the situation arise while demanding comfort from hard-working laborers and service workers. It’s sickening to see people’s selfishness. On the other hand, I’ve realized that there are also incredible people who care about others and volunteer or donate. Personally, I’ve had friends who message, call, and write letters to me and make sure I’m still safe. I really appreciate them and will always remember their act of love and care especially at times like this.

As soon as this is “over,” what do you wish to do immediately?

I want to walk around, go to coffee shops and bookshops, meet up with friends, and chill by the Hudson River. I miss hustling in the city. That’s why I moved to New York, but now, it’s different. It’s scary to live in the city.

What is one advice you have for others?

Don’t sit on your comfort. It’s comfortable for you but have you wondered what kinds of discomfort you’re creating to others because of your comfort?

What do you crave the most right now?

My mom’s home-cooked meals.

What brings you joy especially at times like this?

Drinking wine and reading a good book.